Now that I have been back in Canada a week and been adjusting to the weather, the environment, and civilization, as we know it here, I have found myself a bit trapped in transition between two worlds. Somewhere betwixt re-integration to uncertain season changes, unrelenting deadlines (the dreaded academic “hamster wheel”), and organized chaos of traffic and people, and the taste of different place where it was consistently hot (a bit of flux with humidity and rain), a more balanced approach to work and life, and chaos of another wonderful dimension. Of course, transition and change are good - they expose us to other ways of seeing the world and seeing ourselves that can be used for personal and professional growth. That is, if we allow growth to happen.
I think my feeling trapped is part of a tension and inner struggle knowing that the path I am currently on is not the right one for me and recognizing that I need to make a significant change that is more than just changing a mindset. Part of the trapped feeling is not yet knowing the best course of action to take. The past few years have brought about some significant life experiences (e.g., COVID pandemic, catastrophic career move, emergency surgery, etc.) but also brought with it some great opportunities to explore a different part of the world, experience a radically different culture, and meet fascinating people. All of this while turning 60 and coming to the reality that life is too short not to be doing things that brings one happiness and a sense of fulfillment. What my time away on the cruise and in Brazil allowed me were the luxury of time and distance to experience new things, space to re-evaluate where I am in life, and a chance to re-imagine what a refreshed future for me might look like.
One night this past week I had vivid dreams in colour. Not the usual dreams of some prophetic happening, a déjà vu moment, or weird nonsensical event like chasing an escaped parrot (yes, that was a bizarre one of a few weeks ago). Rather, it was more like a continuous slideshow of pictures of my grand adventure in Brazil…very specific images similar to the ones I have posted in my blogs and Facebook or that remain on my iPhone. I cannot recall any that caused me anxiety or concern but that, instead, gave me a deep sense of calm happiness - almost a serene satisfaction. So I decided I would pick five favourite moments or themes from Brazil that were not only memorable experiences but ones that had the most impact on me personally and/or professionally. I will start with #5 in this blog - the Beauty of Brazil.
While I have written much about Brazil I am not sure how well I have been able to articulate just how beautiful it really is. Everything about the topography, the peoples, the cultures, and the spirit of this country transcends anything I have experienced elsewhere in the world so far. It may sound odd, but I would say even compared to Canada - I will explain that more fully in the upcoming blogs. In the 2 1/2 months I was there, I visited only a small portion of Brazil but it was enough to provide me a glimpse to the richness of the country and appreciation that, contrary to media stereotypes, it is much more than a place of poverty, corruption, and violence. All of these negative characteristics exist in even the most developed and “civilized” countries - one only has to look south of our border to see evidence of this or even Canada, a supposedly rich nation, where we have abject poverty, homelessness, social injustice, scandals, and crime.
My appreciation of Brazil and all its beauty was largely due to being there not merely as a vacationer, but in a mixed capacity of work and tourism with some set goals related to professional and personal growth. I think having objectives and a sense of purpose during my time there made all the difference for what I would be seeking in terms of experiences and understanding; it also shifted my gaze to see the things one would not normally look for when in total vacation and tourist mode. So the beauty I found in Brazil was biased by deliberate inquiry and looking in places where one would not normally focus on. In addition to the physical beauty of Brazil (beaches, expanses of ridges, diverse geography, etc.) and the tropical paradises of the coast, I found beauty within the peoples and their cultures…through carnaval, a visit to a Quilombola, the healthcare facilities, and connecting with faculty from the academic institutions. In my other top picks for my experience of Brazil I will touch more specifically on a few of these components that made for the totality of Brazil’s beauty and that resonated with me personally.
I would not have had this exposure to Brazil’s beauty and the experiences had it not been for the privilege and opportunity availed me through the connection made by Maria Alice and Angela. I am not certain I would ever have deliberately selected Brazil as a holiday destination and would surely have missed so much about Brazil had I gone as a vacationing tourist. But this opportunity and exposure to the total beauty of Brazil have been both personally and professionally enrich for me and has now for me become a quest to learn more about the culture through future collaborative work with some of the wonderful friends I have made while on my grand adventure. So now, in a professional capacity, I am resolved to build upon my experience and connections to create new opportunities for collaborations so that students and colleagues from both Brazil and Canada may mutually benefit in a similar way. I think that I can honestly say a global connection has been made.
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